The Handless Maiden--Initiation #3 The Wandering

Even when we think the Devil has gone forever, the Devil comes again (New Level, New Devil). The Devil always shows up for each step of our initiation, including our next business uplevel. 

When the Devil unexpectedly came again, the girl had cried so much the stumps that were left to her limbs were again clean, and the Devil was once again thrown across the yard when he attempted to seize her.

The father and mother had aged 100 years through all of the stress. With the riches from the Devil, the father offered to keep his daughter in a castle to live amongst great wealth. But his daughter said she felt it more fitting to become a beggar girl, depending on the goodness of others for sustenance. So her parents bound her arms in clean gauze, and at daybreak she walked away from her life as she had known it.

She walked and walked then finally as she walked through the mist of the night, she came to a royal orchard where the moon put a gleam on the fruit that hung from the trees. She could not enter because the orchard was surrounded by a moat. The maiden, starving from hunger fell to her knees. A ghostly spirit in white appeared and shut the sluice gate so the moat was emptied.

As she walked amongst the pear trees she somehow knew that each perfect pear had been counted, numbered, and were being guarded. Never the less, a bough bent itself low so she could reach it. She put her lips to the golden skin and ate standing there in the moonlight.

The gardener recognized the magic of the spirit who guarded the Handless Maiden and did not interfere.

The next morning the King came to count his pears. When the gardener told him what had happened, the King said he would keep the night watch. That evening the King re-entered the garden with his magician who knew how to speak to spirits. The gardener (God the son, Jesus) the King (God the Father) and the magician (God the Holy Spirit) sat beneath a tree (The Tree of Life) and watched.

The maiden floated into the garden and supped on a pear. The magician came close enough to her to ask her a question. "Are you of this world or not of this world?" And the maiden answered, "I was once of this world, and yet I am not of this world." The King was delighted that she was not just a spirit and said he would care for her.

The story continues in my blog post: The Handless Maiden--Initiation #4 Finding Love In The Underworld

Are you of this world or not of this world?

I am both!

The Handless Maiden--Initiation #2 The Dismemberment

When the maiden resembled more of a beast than a young woman, the Devil returned. The girl wept and her tears went onto the palms of her hands and down her arms. And because of this her hands and arms were pure white.

The Devil was enraged, "Chop off her hands, otherwise I cannot come near her!"

The father horrified questioned and engaged the Devil. "You want me to sever the hands of my own child?" The Devil bellowed, "If you don't, everything here will die, including you, your wife, and all the fields for as far as you can see."

The father was so frightened he obeyed, and begging his daughter's forgiveness he began to sharpen his silver-lipped ax.

The daughter submitted saying, "I am your child, do as you must." AND he did! Thus--ending the girl's life as she knew it.

When the Devil came again, the girl had cried so much the stumps that were left of her limbs were again clean and the Devil was again thrown across the yard when he attempted to seize her.

Cursing in words that set small fires in the forest, he disappeared forever, for he had lost his claim to her. Her tears released the hold he had on her.

The story continues in my blog post: The Handless Maiden--Initiation #3 The Wandering.

The Handless Maiden--Intitiation #1 The Bargain Without Knowing

I love the writings of Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I also like simplifying things so they are more understandable. Clarissa's book, "Women Who Run with the Wolves", allows our minds to step away from our Ego for a time through stories. Stories allow us to merge with another's reality or experience so we can learn and bring back these teachings, as Clarissa puts it, to 'consensual reality.' These teachings, these stories imprint us with knowledge we can apply to the next initiation in our lives.

The Handless Maiden appears in many cultures under various titles. It allows us to participate in the Heroine's test of endurance. It takes a long time to tell and even longer to absorb. It is a story from deep within the underworld. This story covers key journeys of a woman's psyche both male and female. It is filled with initiations and is a story of endurance, the making of something.

The teachings of endurance occur throughout nature as well. For example, the soft paws of a young wolf pup need toughening for survival in the wild. Endurance means to harden, to make sturdy, to make robust, to strengthen.

The Wild Women archetype is the Great Wild Mother. Her timeless ritual is to make her offspring strong. The underground forest is the underworld of female knowing. It is a wild world that lives under this one. While there, we are infused with instinctive language and knowledge. From there we can clearly see and tap into our deep knowing.

In this story the maiden masters several descents, one after another: Darkness, Sacrifice, Light.

Her parent's, the king (her future husband) and the kings mother (her future mother-in-law) each have a round themselves!

#1 The Bargain Without Knowing

The Miller, the father in this story is shown as a weak man. A male in a story represents the Animus, the male psyche. Both men and women have male and female within their psyches. The female psyche is called the Anima. The Animus and the Anima are terms that come from Carl Jung's work in the field of Analytical Psychology. The maiden's father represents the weak animus within a woman's psyche, which through stages of initiation strengthens. When we call upon our masculine energy we call upon protection and are able to defend ourselves. The Wild Woman represents both the male and the female psyche.

In the story The Handless Maiden, the father (the provider) had fallen on hard times. He had nothing left but the great rough millstone in his shed and the flowering apple tree behind it.

Hard times can easily open the door for the Devil to enter. The Bible says the Devil walks the earth and it's true because the Devil lives and breathes within our Egos. The Devil, in disguise, appears and makes an offer that is too good to be true. And so it was! For the Devil offered riches if the Miller gave him, in three-years-time, what was behind the shed. Wow, thought the Miller, an apple tree for riches. Now that sounded like a great bargain, with riches he could buy more apple trees and improve upon his situation.

As soon as the Miller agreed, everything in his life changed into riches. When his wife, delighted with all things beautiful heard the bargain, she wailed, "Oh husband, the man in the black cloak was the Devil. True, our apple tree stands behind the shed, but so does our daughter right now. She has been sweeping the yard all morning with a willow broom. The Miller and his wife began to weep and wail.

For three years, their sweet daughter stayed without a husband. The day the Devil came to fetch her she had bathed and put on a white gown. She drew a circle of white chalk around herself. When the Devil reached out to grab her an unseen force threw him across the yard.

The Devil screamed, "She must not bathe anymore or I cannot touch her." When the maiden resembled more of a beast than a young woman, the Devil returned. The girl wept and her tears went onto the palms of her hands and down her arms. And because of this her hands and arms were pure white.

The story continues in my blog post: The Handless Maiden--Initiation #2 The Dismemberment.

Reducing Emotional Pain Through Menses & Menopause

Menses didn't use to be Taboo. Women went to be together, it was a sacred time, not a time of banishment.

The Native American Moon Dance is about men giving thanks for the life they were given by a woman's sacrifice. In some tribes, men cut their arm and allow it to bleed in order to represent the pain of childbirth and their gratitude.

Blood is life giving. It also represents sacrifice and sacrificial giving.

The color red represents the Life Death Life cycles.

Having your period went from a beautiful time of initiation to competition. The girls who hadn't gotten their period in my Jr. High were shunned. I was close to being one of the last girls to get mine and I was fearful that I 'would' be the last.

When I was working my way through Menopause I thought at one point I might bleed to death. As my periods got further apart, the blood flow, when it did flow--was heavy and bright red with large blood clots.

The emotional pain of losing my father, a Military Veteran, to suicide just before my Senior year of High School and a few months later losing my dance career to a gymnastics accident crept in once again during the Menopausal years.

Even though I felt stuck many times in my life, I eventually discovered new perspectives that reduce the emotional pain that can flare up during our menstrual cycle and/or during our menopausal years.

#1. Pain is a messenger. Trusting and nurturing our spirit is the key to releasing pain.

Every woman is different. We all write our own story. Just like in childbirth, we can only prepare for our periods or menopause by being open to the journey--by releasing control and by noticing what is going on within us.

Pain wakes us up. It shows us what is important and gives us the 'umph' to make serious change.

Pain brings up questions like:

"Am I happy?"

"Am I getting enough 'Me time'?"

"Am I getting enough 'Creative time' in my life?"

And statements like:

"I'm not happy."

"I am not getting enough 'Me time'."

"I am not getting enough 'Creative time' in my life?"

Being Happy raises our vibration. When we raise our vibration, we raise the vibration of others.

#2. Overwhelm. I can easily get into Overwhelm. I now know I have a choice to stay there or to check-in and make a decision to take an action that will get me out of Overwhelm or allow me to ease into it.

Noticing what keeps us individually stable is crucial for our success. If we are rigid, we will break. Taking a look at what has gotten me out of Overwhelm in the past is very helpful. For me it's taking a walk. I can also parent myself which keeps me out of Victim Mode. For example, the Self-conversation goes like this: "I'm cold." "Put on a sweater."

Changing our mindset, changes our emotions, which in turn puts us into ease and flow no matter what is going on in our body.

Moon time and Menopause can be very confusing times in a woman's life and yet Confusion is a Lie. 'I have to', 'I should', and 'I can't' are also lies. They are the lies we tell ourselves. We can rid ourselves of those lies by noticing the words we are using and by noticing our 'Lack Mentality'. A great way to pull out of lack is to notice what did go right or what we did accomplish for the day, even if it was to rest and take time for ourselves.

Staying in touch with what REALLY lights us up--keeps us in flow and enables us to take aligned action.

Living fully present from your Soul is about noticing what is coming up for you as your body and mind begin to shift.

These new rhythms will get you in touch with who you really are. Dancing through these years is about learning the next step, opening up, exploring and moving forward. Fear holds us back, it contracts us if we choose to make excuses for it. We have a choice in how we choose to show up in the world. We can show up making excuses and live in fear or we can show up expansive and in a creative, loving and joyful way. The truth is there is nothing to fear except the fear and the hold it can have on us.

Puffing up all of our cells and allowing fear to pass through us is a great way to deal with fear. The Sufi's go to the back of their heart. When you do that, your chest rises and your shoulders lower, your body is now in a calmer and more relaxed position. Reaching your arms out like a ballet dancer pose and imagining all of your cells puffing up will give you the feeling of expansion.

You can now use your 'Red Tent' time to pull back and go within--releasing rage vs. raging at others. This can be a beautiful and empowering experience. When we shift our perspective around menopause, our emotions no longer control us. We are no longer numbed out. Everything just is and we stay out of judgement, fear and overwhelm. This in turn allows us to make space to implement noticing skills.

The greatest tip or Mantra that I learned from my mother was: This too shall pass.

Traps of The Female Psyche--Trap #2

The Polluted River and the Uninitiated Woman

In this blog post we will focus on two stories from the book "Woman Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "La Llorna" and "The Handless Maiden"

In La Llorna we learn that even though our lives can be really crappy (the polluted river) we can stay sane by keeping the river beneath the river clean. How? By doing things that we love and diving deep into our creativity.

So what is the river beneath the river? It's our Wild Woman, our creativity, our Soul and the reason for our existence. It's what drives us and compels us to go within and just be. It's our life blood and if we allow it to become polluted, the things we love will die and then we will die.

There are various stages of initiation, within the female psyche, that we go through in life. 

In the Handless Maiden we see the culmination of the book WWRWTW. This story takes us through the various stages of initiation of the Female Psyche.

There is also a chart in this book of those stages from Birth to 105+. It is on page 448 in my copy of "Women Who Run with the Wolves".

Traps of the Female Psyche--Trap #1

Excerpts from "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Remember when you were a child and you found out that you couldn't do yourself in by holding your breath? Blessedly there is something like that in the Soul/Psyche as well. It takes over and forces us to take full breaths of good air.

Truly we know we cannot really subsist on sneaking little sips of air/life.

The wild force in a woman's Soul demands that she have access to it. We can stay alert and take in the things that are right for us.

One of the most insidious attacks on the wild self is to be directed to perform properly, implying a reward will follow (if ever). This kills off any opportunity to expand.

The wild self is alert and responsive to any given moment or moments, not locked into a repetitive pattern of behavior. The wild self has noticing skills. When the wild self is pushed down, the unsupported woman will sneak things.

Sneaking a life because the real one is not given room enough to thrive is hard on a woman's vitality. Captured and starved, women sneak all kinds of things.

They sneak bits and pieces.

They may write, but secretly so they have no support, no feedback.

It is deadly to be without a confidant, without a guide, without a tiny cheering section. 

Vital Restoration

As women, our energy drops when we aren’t doing what we love. Burnout comes when we are doing for others and not ourselves. And then, sometimes out of nowhere, we get a wake-up call. We awaken from our deep slumber able to feel our pain, see our struggle, own our power, and create radical change.

We reclaim our soul and once again tap into our creative fire. We tap back into our wild nature knowing instinctively when things must die and when things must live, when to stay and when to leave. This is a force that lies beneath us. It raises us up to do our psychic work.

Coming from a visceral place in our being it can appear out of nowhere or be felt as a gradual atmospheric pressure before the storm. It helps us to live with innate integrity and healthy boundaries. It helps us to remember who we are and what we are all about. This is a force that cannot be reckoned with.

She brings with her great light and consciousness, ears for the soul and eyes for the heart, an actual knowing of the soul.

She regulates our heart and guards our health.

She allows us to remember why we are here.

She resides in the gut, not in the head.

She is utterly essential to women’s mental and soul health.

She is the female soul.

She is the source of the feminine.

She is intuition, the far-seer, the deep listener, that all knowing sense within. She is the voice that says,”Where are you?” “Wake up, wake up!” “Come, go this way.” “Keep going, keep going.” “Never give up!” 

When we awaken is when we begin to truly live. As we investigate our deepest darkest places we increase our soul power. When we remember to feed our soul, we are then successful in our own eyes as well as in the eyes of others.

“Many things will catch your eye, but follow only those that capture your heart.”
                                                                                                                            -Priya Sher

Tis the season all year long!

"Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

WWRW is my favorite book. I read it pre and post divorce. I am currently in The Paperback Goddess book club hosted by Steena Marie. This is the book we have been studying. We've been talking about the river beneath the river which represents a woman's creative life. That pure river of life that is a woman's creative process.

A woman whose creative life is dwindling experiences a sensation of poisoning, deformation and a desire to kill off everything. Subsequently she is driven to seemingly endless searching through the wreckage for her former creative potential.

As a transformational performance improvement coach and project support partner my new clients come to me with the same back story of how they let their business fall apart or left everything behind to star anew. I get that because I left a 33 year 'starter marriage'. 

The story of La Llorna, considered a shiver story, like a ghost story, is about caring for our creative life and not so much about what it produces.

You may have a crappy life, a dirty river running through you and yet keeping the river beneath the river clear and pure is essential because that is the river that nourishes everything we create. It infuses us with energy and strengthens our life.

Biggest moon yet, on its way!

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Author Linda Vettrus-Nichols presents...

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